Fishnets
by Lady Emerald Star
Summary: “What’s wrong with fishnet?” ...Oh, the conversations with which Temari traps Shikamaru. Poor boy never saw it coming. Oneshot. Rated for some language.


Fishnets

It was a perfect moment for cloud watching. Since it was later in the afternoon, the sun was already beginning to set and wasn't blinding him as he stared at the sky. Weather conditions were ideal; creating large amounts of cumulus clouds. Shikamaru enjoyed viewing all the different types of clouds, but he knew his fellow observer preferred the cumulus and the many shapes it formed. The field they were lying in was deserted. There was nothing around that could spoil Shikamaru's enjoyment.

"I'm going to dress my children in fishnets," Temari announced.

Shikamaru groaned. The first time he had invited Temari to watch the clouds had been after a stressful day preparing for the Chuunin exams. He had been surprised to find that Temari was a wonderful companion. Though she was always calling him lazy, she apparently enjoyed the chance to be lazy too, as long as it was only once in a while. Amazingly enough, the troublesome woman could even watch with him in a comfortable silence. She didn't feel the need to go on about her day, what people were wearing, and the latest gossip. A small shudder ran through Shikamaru as he recalled the day Ino had decided to join him and Choji. With Temari, he knew anything she said had a point.

It wasn't that he minded starting a conversation, it was just the topic. Where was she going with it?

He remained quiet a few more seconds, watching Temari out of the corner of his eye to see if she was going to try to kill him for ignoring her. Nothing happened. She didn't even blink as she stared at the sky, a small smirk lingering on her lips. "Alright woman, you've intrigued me. Why are going to dress your poor children in fishnets?"

Temari scowled. "Have you seen children's clothing?"

"Yeah."

"Well then you should know what's wrong with it. It's designed to make children look cute."

"Why am I not surprised that you don't find kids cute," Shikamaru said.

"Kids are cute." Temari stretched, never lowering her eyes from the heavens, even as Shikamaru turned his head to gape. "Kids are fucking adorable. You should have seen Gaara when he was little. He had the cutest chipmunk cheeks. Whenever he was a toddler I'd sneak over to visit him and give him tons of cookies just because he'd cram them all in his mouth. I wasn't supposed to give him cookies. Actually, I wasn't supposed to see him, period. Wish I would have thought to take a picture though."

Shikamaru blinked several times, trying to reconcile with this new image of Gaara. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at Gaara, or a chipmunk, the same way again. But what's wrong with children's clothing then? You just agreed that kids are cute."

"They are. The problem is kid's clothing is supposed to make them look cute, and kids are naturally cute. They don't need the extra help! So I want my children to wear fishnets. It will help them look more Bad Ass."

"You want your young, innocent children to look like a bad ass?"

Temari shrugged. "It seems fair. They're going to beBad Ass so I think I should provide a warning."

"Woman, you're crazy besides being troublesome. Kids aren't bad ass. You can't decide in advance what your offspring are going to be like," Shikamaru said. He tried to focus once more on the clouds going by overhead.

"Except you're forgetting that they will be _my_ kids. Of course they'll be Bad Ass, just like their mother was!"

Shikamaru snorted. "Ignoring whether or not your current status is bad ass, there's still the fact that you were _not_ bad ass when you were just a kid."

Temari rolled over, practically straddling Shikamaru as she grabbed the sides of his face, forcing him to look into her green eyes. "Let's get this straight now. I was a total Bad Ass even when I was a kid." She pushed him hard in the chest, and moved back to lying down beside him. "Ask Kankurou."

He wished she would have kept talking. In the extreme silence that followed Shikamaru was sure Temari could hear his heart hammering from the close contact. Even when she was being rough with him, like forcefully grabbing his head, he could still feel the soft curves of her body melting into him. It felt good. Like winning a game of Shogi against a tough adversary: surprising, but such a wonderful rush.

"Well, now you have to marry somebody that will let you dress their children in fishnets."

"What's wrong with fishnet?"

"Nothing."

"Then it won't matter who I marry."

"Some guys might not want you to put fishnet clothing on children."

"Again, what's wrong with fishnet?"

"It's uncomfortable."

Honestly, he wasn't that surprised when he was suddenly smacked in the head. "I'm not going to put my babies in fishnets! I'm going to wait until they're a little older."

"I'm just saying it's scratchy."

"Like frilly skirts are any more comfortable… Do you have any idea how itchy some of that material is?"

"That better be a rhetorical question," Shikamaru said.

Temari turned her head towards him slowly and winked. "I was hoping to draw on your personal experiences. A crybaby like you must have worn a dress at some point."

"Even if other clothing is uncomfortable too," Shikamaru began, ignoring her obvious attempt to rile him up. Getting angry was too troublesome. "how are you going to decide when to start dressing your kids in fishnets?"

"I'm going to wait until they become Bad Ass enough to earn their fishnet rights, and then they can start wearing them."

"Good luck."

The conversation died off. Shikamaru realized that although he had been staring at the sky (most of the time) he hadn't been focusing on the clouds at all. The woman next to him was too distracting. Even when he wasn't looking at her, he was listening and seriously considering her words.

"You wear fishnets," Temari said.

Shikamaru felt his heart stop beating. He stole a glance at her, but she wasn't looking his way. As a genius, he would have to say that her comment logically tied in with their previous conversation. However this was a woman he was dealing with. Was she following a fishnet train of thought, or was she implying…

"I do," Shikamaru answered cautiously.

"So you can't object to anyone else wearing them."

"I guess not."

With a wave of her hand, Temari knocked any doubts out of his mind. "Then you can father my children. I'll have to hope they don't inherit your laziness."

This time it was Shikamaru that rolled over, pinning Temari to the ground in case she planned to escape after she succeeded in screwing with his head. The evidence spoke against that theory: Temari had remained comfortably sprawled in the grass, and barely registered the shift in Shikamaru's position. Her detachment irritated Shikamaru. He grabbed her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. When they displayed her usual cocky attitude he felt his reserve crack as he leaned down and slowly pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was unhurried, though when Temari began to respond it became much more unrestrained.

When they pulled apart, breathing heavily, Shikamaru rested his forehead against Temari's before pulling away to study her. "If you're going to decide that we're getting married and having kids, we should probably date first. I can't let a woman make the first move."

"Who said anything about getting married? All I said was that you had to father my children." Temari was still smirking at him. Her kiss swollen lips made the look sexier than usual. Shikamaru had a hard time concentrating on what she was saying.

"What?" He tore his gaze away from her lips and back to her hypnotic eyes, the lesser of two evils at the moment. "I can't let you have my kids without getting married."

"I know," Temari said.

"And I can't let you decide we're getting married someday without dating. Temari, will you be my girlfriend?"

It might have been the way Temari couldn't stop smirking, or it might have been that he recognized the triumphant look in her eyes. Either way, Shikamaru realized that he had been a step behind his opponent the entire time.

"Since you asked so nicely, yes." Temari reached up to rub his forehead. "Don't look so worried. The important thing is that you get to kiss me again."

Shikamaru forgot about who won this round, and who had been in control, and gladly leaned back down to kiss his clever woman. He purposely rubbed his leg against her right ankle, their fishnets meshed together.

* * *

Emerald: Wow! I can't believe I actually wrote something else!

Duo: Me either, when was the last time that happened?

Legolas: Years and years ago.

Emerald: Shuttup you two. Anyways, I know that it's probably not actually fishnet that certain characters in Naruto wear, but the idea grabbed me and I just had to run with it.

Duo: It just seemed right that Temari got to be the one manipulating the situation the entire time. Shikamaru never stood a chance.

Legolas: Does any man stand a chance against the wiles of women?

Emerald: Let's say no, and not risk an argument. Sorry about any mistakes. I write and correct late at night, and I know I'm not always at my best. Hope somebody enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!


End file.
